Over the next little while, as I continue to move in to my beautiful new home online, I’m going to bring some of my past content over to share. Originally published on Starshyne Productions.
In my work as a life coach, I talk to a lot of people about their dreams, particularly about hidden desires that lurk deep within people’s hearts. You know the ones, those things you’ve always wanted to do but have put on the back burner because it doesn’t seem possible or practical or affordable – that trip to Europe, that MA, becoming a dancer, having your own studio, running your own business.
And often when people share them with me, these dreams are quickly followed by a “but” – but I have a mortgage, children, a partner, responsibilities, limited time, limited money, limited energy, limits of every kind. And when I have paid off my mortgage (my student loan, my credit card debt) and am financially secure (well-off, rich), the children are in school (off to collage, graduated from university, financially independant), my partner has a more secure job (believes in me, gives me permission) and I have more time, money, energy, opportunity then I will….
Does it work that way? The Get-it-Done Guy Stever Robbins lists this approach as one of the Ten Great Cultural Career Lies. Here’s his take:#6 of Stever Robbins’ Ten Great Cultural Career Lies: I’ll work now and do what I love when I’ve accomplished (made my first million, cured cancer, etc.)
- Management consulting firms and investment banks use this lie as a recruiting tool.
- Dangerous strategy, and I know very few who’ve pulled it off. If you don’t do it, you’re left at mid-life trapped in a career you don’t like, with a non-transferable resume, and a network composed of people who are the last ones in the world who could help you do what you love. But boy, could they help you get even further in a career you despise.
Ouch, that last point really hit home for me. Every year you don’t pursue what you really want to do, you’re getting more and more firmly entrenched in that place you don’t want to be.
So what do you do? I am not suggesting you neglect your responsibilities, your bills or your loved ones. But I am suggesting that even in your busy, responsible, debt-ridden, exhausted life, you find a small space for your dreams, for your own personal joy. Just open a little window and consider what might be possible now. If you don’t make room on your plate, the Universe won’t know you’re hungry. It doesn’t have to be big. Take 5 minutes one morning researching violin classes in your neighbourhood. Say out loud to your partner that you think maybe you’d like to go back to school. Read a library book about starting your own business. Stop in at the travel agent at lunch and get a brochure for Paris. Open the door.
When I was training to be a coach, I really wanted to take the certification program. It cost $3500, and I didn’t have it. One day a friend I hadn’t talked to in years invited me to come talk to a group of people at her work about the power of coaching. I ended up with a contract. You’ll never guess how much it was for. Yep, $3,500. I am now a certified coach.
Open your heart to dreaming. Amazing things can happen.
PS A special thank you to Stever for giving me permission to quote from his work. Thank you!
Enjoyed it? Share it.
Email It | Tweet It | Stumble It | Digg It | Save to Delicious
Subscribe to the blog.
Get the blog in your inbox.
Follow me on Twitter
Join me on Facebook
Subscribe to Podcast
{ 6 comments }
What a great post. I have made the leap and taken a huge risk in doing what I really love, but I’ve found that when you focus on what you want, the opportunities do appear. And people get behind you, too.
The point about recruitment firms is very accurate. Although most of the recruiters have a lot of understanding when it comes to a contractor saying that they have other career passions, in the permanent market the response is awful. I had one guy I had to put up with for a year (because I got me the permission) telling me that I was wasting my time being a writer and desperately tried to convince me to abandon my dream.
A couple of weeks ago I was called about another permanent position and I was told I would have to put the writing to one side to “focus on a managament career”. I said, “I can’t. I’m reaching 1000 people a week!”
I think it’s worth it. I’m very lucky because I don’t have responsibilities beyond myself, I’m young and bloody-minded. But I’ve met many people – often younger than me – who won’t even start because they just say “What if I fail?” It makes me sad they’d rather tolerate a lifetime of disappointment because of the possibility of failure.
Although I know you wrote this for the benefit of many, it seems that you were speaking directly to me. I’ve been subscribing to that career lie for most of my adult life. Your words and recent personal reading have reaffirmed my suspicions about this lie and your consistent inspiration never fails to nudge me into opening new windows. Thank you, Jamie.
Oops, my previous comment was meant for the 8/2 post. I’m sorry about that! :)
Weird. Okay, I guess my comment went to the correct post. Please feel free to delete these last two comments of mine.
I’ve opened a door AND a window, and I’m getting pretty close to saying good-bye to the old space. :-)
love this post too. FILLED again with inspiration. AND tied in with my Wishcasting Wednesday and dreamboard. BELIEVE……..
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }