New 52: Week 2

I was going to tell you that Justin and I didn’t do anything this week for our New 52 Project because we were dealing with some family matters but then I realized those family matters qualified.

Our new activity this week: packing away the belongings of a loved one who has passed.

I decided to write about this because I want to share what I’ve been learning and I don’t want to shy away from death. Death touches our lives in profound ways and yet we avoid talking about it because it hurts and it’s scary.  But by not talking about it, we lose so much. By not talking about death, we don’t talk about the deceased. By not talking about death, we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to process our feelings and let them shift and flow. By not talking, we miss the opportunity for connection. By not talking, we don’t help others prepare for their own encounters with death.

Here are some things I want you to know. They really helped me.

• Creating your will can be an act of love and gratitude. When Justin and I worked on ours last year, it wasn’t what we expected at all. Instead of feeling stressed or depressed about dying, we were over and over again filled with gratitude at how far we’ve come, how blessed we are with beautiful, loving people in our lives and what a joy it was that we might be able to gift them with whatever they might be able to use or love.
• Letting your loved ones know what you want done after your death is a gift. Grief can be overwhelming and by leaving clear instructions, you give your loved ones the confidence and reassurance that they are doing the right thing, honouring you and taking care of you well.
• Everyone handles these situations in their own way. Don’t judge yourself. Be loving with others. You might cry. You might get tough. You might numb out. Your self is finding its way to cope. Let it do just that.
• Sorting and packing a loved ones things is an intimate experience and can be an act of love. As I folded my mother-in-law’s sweaters, I remembered the times I’d seen her in them. The feel of her big red coat reminded me of the winter hugs we had. The books on her shelf, the art on her walls, all were reflections of her personal taste, the colours she loved, the stories she found intriguing, the memories she wanted to keep. For me, this was a celebration of her life and her uniqueness. I treasured every moment. Don’t be afraid of the sadness. There is love here too.

Feel free to create your own New 52. Start anytime. Invite a friend or loved one to join you. Involve your whole family. Or maybe share with 52 new people this year! What experiences might you create? What fun and unexpected memories might fill 2010? Life’s an adventure! What are you going to explore?

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