I’ve had an amazing opportunity to work with wardrobe consultant Safina Ruda. She offers a 3-part Signature Style package that includes an initial meeting where you bring an inspiration board (another use for dreamboards!) and talk about your tastes, your lifestyle and your loves, a wardrobe consultation, where she comes to your house and goes through your clothing with you and finally a shopping trip! This weekend was part 2 for me!
It was an amazing experience to try on everything I own to show Safina. How I felt about showing her was often the determining factor of whether something stayed or went. If I was kind of embarrassed and unsure – gone! If I wanted to walk in beaming – keep! One thing I noticed was how important it was to me to express what it was about a particular item that had drawn me. So even if the piece wasn’t that successful, we knew that in my wardrobe I wanted sparkle, tailoring, sass, that kind of thing.
This experience wasn’t about someone else telling me my style. It was about getting clarity. It was about reminding myself what I truly love and holding that as the standard. For example, I like to dress a little bit formal. I don’t feel at my best in yoga pants or comfy jeans. I also work from home, so it’s a bit silly to pull out pinstriped pants or a sparkly shirt, right? Not so, says Safina. “Every day is special.” “You love it, you feel great in it, so why not wear it?” And the moment she says that, I know that I believe that too. That I’ve always believed that. How did I forget?
Safina set me a great tool for remembering. I’m not generally a shoe person, but I’m wild about the 2 pairs I have in that picture. I just lit up when I showed Safina the vintage metallic kitten heels. So, she told me to use that as my standard. “If you don’t love it as much as those shoes, let it go.” The goal is to aim for that lit-up energy when I pull anything out of my closet and put it on. Imagine!
And so I cleared with enthusiastic abandon. 4 large garbage bags of clothing will be finding new homes. I’m sure I’ve bagged up at least half of my wardrobe. Now when I get up in the morning and look at my options, sure, there’s a lot less to choose from but I love what’s there. And if those limitations mean I put on a spangly top or a pretty dress to spend the day at home and coach my clients – awesome! I feel great.
Raising your standards can be a bit intimidating. Often our wardrobe and our lives are filled with the mediocre because we know we can have it. It’s achievable. How do we know we can find/get/achieve the amazing? We don’t know. But we can have a bit of trust in ourselves and the Universe and take the chance. We just might find something truly remarkable on the other side. I’m going to go for it! How about you?
How can you get rid of the mediocre to make room for the amazing?
If you’re in Toronto and would like a consultation with Safina, she’s offering a 25% discount to anyone who mentions my name, Jamie Ridler, and books before September. If you want more information, please feel free to contact me.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
That is such wonderful advice, And sounds like you had a great time.
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“Often our wardrobe and our lives are filled with the mediocre because we know we can have it. It’s achievable. How do we know we can find/get/achieve the amazing?”
RRrrrooOOooooAAAaaaaRRRrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!
YES!
That, dear one, is why I love you!
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Oh Jamie this is delish! I’m reading this cringing because I think if Safina came to my house and I’d have to try everything on, I might be left with a lot of nakedness.
I love how you have framed this experience to talk about raising standards…that is exactly how powerful it is to let go of mediocre and invite amazing. Wow!
Awesomely sexy shoes.
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Love this!! Such a good reminder to get rid of the “meh” in our life to make room for the “oh, yes!”
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It’s amazing how something that seems as simple as our wardrobe can reflect our (possibly unconscious) beliefs about life. This is a great wake-up call, thank-you.
“How can you get rid of the mediocre to make room for the amazing?” I once has a student say basically the same thing to me when she was choosing a college, “My mom wants me to go to the local college but I want to go to NYU and dad agrees – he says ‘why settle for mediocre when you can have great’” That’s always stayed with me.
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Oh, yes!
I wrote a post about Yoga Pants Making Me Lazy! YOU know what I mean, I’m sure, without my explaining it at all.
I always loved to dress more formally and you are right — I should just go for it! I think I would accomplish a LOT more every day that way since I work from home.
The more formal clothing tells me I am taking myself and my work seriously. Which is something I have just decided to do in a more general way recently.
THIS is a missing piece!
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Jamie, hooray! I’m celebrating your wonderfulness with you!
This has been my practice for many years. Once a month I go through everything I own (except for my library, which takes a long time to sort through) and I give away anything that no longer feels as though it belongs in my life.
Usually, each thing reminds me of someone for whom it would be perfect, and I then call my friends or neighbors and ask them if they’d like to have it. If it doesn’t call the name of someone I know, i take it to the local women’s shelter, which is always happy to have things that are of good quality.
Yay for your wardrobe consultation, and for taking such good and fabulous care of yourself!
Hiro
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“How can you get rid of the mediocre to make room for the amazing?”
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! WHEEEEEE – wow, I am so inspired right now!
I think I’ll go home and have “dress-up” night for my Sig-O…who so eloquently asked last night, “why don’t you dress up for me anymore?”
And not that I’ll just be dressing up ‘for’ him but that I’ll be exploring why I feel most comfortable when look like a tom-boy or even a bag lady… this is awesome. Thanks.
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Very inspirational, and much needed! Being self-employed and working from home all of the time has made me down right lazy when it comes to this!
Funny thing…I recently had a conversation with a dear friend and acknowledged that I had to make some changes in this area. I NEED to look and feel good for ME…everyday! I have actually started the “purging” process, but struggling with going from mediocre to amazing. This post has provided some valuable insight as to how to get there. Thanks!!
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Great advice. I do my best to buy clothes that I’m in love with and make me happy. It helps cut down of dumb clothing items and have a closet of clothes I enjoy to wear.
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I just totally cleared out my wardrobe this past weekend, and ended up with so few clothes, I actually have space in my drawers and closet! I really like that thought, getting rid of the mediocre to make room for the amazing. It applies to everything in life, doesn’t it?
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I love the idea of whittling down your wardrobe like a bar of soap until all you have is a beautiful carving of your choosing (a duck!). I’ve been doing this gradually – it’s a slow process, but totally worth it when you know whatever outfit you choose will feel (& look) awesome.
I also like the idea of having someone to speed the process along…
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wow this was just a great post. I would love to redo my wardrobe….but would not even know where to begin. I am all about comfort…and seem to have forgotten what it is like to wear something that you look HOTT in for example or LOVE. I already went through my closet and got rid of most things I did not wear. IF I got rid of most things in there now that did not make me go WOW or that I loved…..I may just end up walking around nude and that is not a pleasant sight in my mind to imagine. I think my closet is more an imaginary one….filled with clothing and boots or things I would like to see myself wear SOME day. I think I should start focusing on my SOME day as being TOday….and go from there. As usual your post has given me so much to think about!
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Just catching up with your posts – this is interesting. I’m currently sorting out my own wardrobe and it certainly is great to have only things you love. I sometimes wish I could still wear high heels (I have a problem with my left foot which makes flats essential).
I have a slightly different take on dressing when I’m at home though – after years of dressing for the office, I like the subversive element of slobbing around, it makes me feel better about myself.
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