A while back I scheduled a breakfast date with myself. I even inked it into my datebook. But as the day approached and the weather reports promised rain, I found myself wavering. The morning arrived and I thought I’d just send a few emails, take care of a few to-dos and then decide what to do. Before I knew it, it was lunch time and the day was full of sunshine. Sitting in front of my computer, I found myself getting grouchier and grouchier as my spirit poked me in the ribs for breaking my promise.
Keeping our commitments to ourselves is absolutely crucial. It’s at the heart of what Jennifer Louden calls self-trust. It may seem harmless to “change our minds” and not book that haircut, take that writing time, go for that run, have that french toast. I mean, who’s going to be mad? Who are we going to disappoint? Who’s really going to care? We are!
When we let ourselves down repeatedly, we erode our belief in ourselves. Our confidence diminishes with every broken promise. Even if we don’t think we’re keeping track, we are. Our souls know the truth.
And so instead of ploughing through and getting more work done, I packed up my bag and hit the road. With netbook, camera, journal, pens, gluestick, sunglasses and an inspiring book on hand, I was ready for an adventure. I re-discovered for the hundredth time that I live 20 minutes from the beach. In no time at all I was walking on hot sand with my white shoes dangling from my fingers, learning to trust myself again.
What promise do you need to keep to yourself?
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{ 24 comments }
Jamie… I think you officially need to step out of my brain :)
This is exactly what I was grappling with myself this morning. I even told my sister on the phone last night, “I think… No, I’m telling you so that I *will* do XX in the morning.” :) I am moving past my betrayal, but with a twinge.
Thanks ♥
ps – “tomorrow is anutha’ day” ;-) And I have a date with myself to clean my house and collect firewood. Done & Done.
Wonderful! I look forward to hearing about your time with you :) I mean, that’s seriously good company!
Ya know Jamie, I was thinking more about this and realized that about 3 years ago I purchased Cheryl Richardson’s “The Art of Extreme Self Care” and while I have implemented much…this has been the biggest ‘blind’ spot for me. Just wanted to mention that book after I read through some other comments, because it really is a gem for self-care.
this is beautiful jamie!
and omg i promised myself i’d book a spa treatment for next wednesday after work and i haven’t done it yet. i will book it today :)
Wonderful! Hey, book it before Circe’s Circle and we can celebrate with you :)
ha ha!
then i put it off AGAIN.
i am on hold with them right now. i’ll have my appointment by our meeting….
Oh so true! Life can take over and make you doubt yourself which is a total bummer. I’m glad you are out and about with your bag of creativity Jamie, enjoying the world around you!
What a wonderful post Jamie. I was going to say this is the perfect post for today, but I feel more like this is the perfect post for *every* day. I love that I’m not the only one who carries a glue stick when I’m looking for an adventure ;)
This is so on point, Jamie, and really hitting home today. It feels like I’m always breaking promises to myself & because of that, I have stopped trying out things I want to do. Like bikram yoga, I’ve been thinking to myself, “Why bother signing up for the intro month deal, I know I’m not going to go anyway.” Because over & over I’ve made a commitment to myself & then broken it. I don’t want to do that anymore.
Today is a beautiful day to start again :)
This really hit home for me today, too. I keep promising myself things, both small and not-so-small, and I often don’t follow through, either, and you’re absolutely right about the cumulative effects of that. I should print this out and stick it somewhere I’ll see it often! ;)
Great post I am finally letting go of the guilt that I always associated with putting my needs first and taking care of myself. I love how you framed it in terms of self trust. It’s all such a balancing act, isn’t it? Gina
p.s. You live 20 minutes from the beach–how great!
I know! It took me about 4 years to figure it out and I still forget all the time. We live near a lake so big that when I share pictures everyone thinks it’s the ocean!
Hello Jamie!
So glad I found your blog! I am struggling at the moment with keeping my commitments to myself.
Today, I’m going to meditate, (starting right now) and then do my housework. I will think of it as a gift to myself instead of a chore that I have to complete.
Thanks!
Thank you for this fabulous post. I’ve recently made several promises to myself – promises to follow through on my Wishes and Dreams. I know Dreams take dedication but it was somewhat of a revelation that sometimes this dedication feels like work! Every day, I’m tempted to slack off a little…but I don’t. I know that veering away from my quest for happiness just a little bit will convince my lazy side that it’s okay to do it more and more. And, eventually, I’ll be back to the same old grind and my Dreams will be in the dust. Not this time. Now is the time to keep the promises I’ve made to myself. .Thanks for the inspiration!!
Ooh this is so powerful Jamie! I don’t think I schedule a lot of things for myself like that… so maybe I should! I guess I have seen what happens when I don’t keep to other things that are self-nurturing, like going to be early. If I say “oh just a few more articles/emails/etc” before going to bed and end up sleeping later then I don’t feel as good, and it’s not fair to myself.
So yes. Self-trust before bed too. ;)
really happy to have found your blog and this entry.
my answer? meditation. meditation. meditation. i forget to, honestly, but it feels like avoidance.
This is a wonderful post. I am also very good at not doing what I say I’m going to – whether it is something I want to do…or sitting down at the page to create. Oh yeah – and I’m calling She-La-Vie about my haircut & highlight as soon as I click submit! Thanks Jamie!
Wow. I read this and realize that I do this to myself all the time! I always break promises to myself, and I never even realized that this is what I’m doing. Need to fix that.
What a powerful feature! The words are perfect for where I am; I find myself constantly making plans then saying, “I don’t feel like doing that today”, or, like you, sitting down to the computer and working away the day without taking care of myself. “When we let ourselves down repeatedly, we erode our belief in ourselves. Our confidence diminishes with every broken promise. Even if we don’t think we’re keeping track, we are. Our souls know the truth.” That says it all! I think I will reprint that and post it strategically throughout my house. Thank you Jamie.
I realized earlier this week that last month, when I completed the monthly 750words challenge my reward was to be a weekend away, sans children. Well, next weekend I am going away (to San Francisco and Oakland/Berkeley, YAY!) but I am going with friends. What I really need is a weekend of solitude. I need to schedule that weekend and then, go.
Thank you for the reminder, Jamie.
Yes, yes, yes. I do that all of the time – promise myself something and then I don’t follow through – but I think I will hold that image of you on a sunny beach in my head as inspiration. There is something I have promised myself this week, and I am going to stick to it.
Thank you!!
What a great post, even if I’m a little late to the party. I’ve gotten a little better about keeping up with my to-do list, interestingly I tend to break the housecleaning promises in favour of the not-doing-anything ones, but it’s still making a plan and proving myself unable to keep it, giving the monsters (to paraphrase Havi) fuel for their chants of, “Flake, flake, flake!”
Thanks for this reminder that tomorrow’s always another day, and that there are reasons to do what needs doing beyond the obvious — whether that thing is relaxing, or the dishes.
LOL!
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