The Clock that Taught Me Self-Trust

Ever promise yourself something and then, well, neglect to follow through? You know, you promise yourself a new haircut or that you’ll take some ‘me time’ or get to that Nia class you love so much. Oh, that’s me, hehe. But I have a sneaky suspicion you know what I’m talking about. Something comes up that seems so much more pressing. Or the money really needs to go elsewhere. Or you simply don’t have the time.  And so, what you promised yourself gets swept aside into that ‘I’ll get to it someday’ pile that you look at wistfully every now and again, before you put your nose back to the wheel and get to what needs to be done.

What happens when we do that?

Imagine you had a friend who made promises to you over and over but never came through. Imagine they said to you each time, “I know I promised but…” How much confidence would you have in your friend? How much trust would there be?

Let me stop right here and say I am not bringing this up to make any of us feel bad or guilty for a single broken promise. Not one. What I’m saying is that it matters that you can count on you.

I learned that from a clock.

I went through an intensive coaching certification program. It was several months, involved rigorous feedback, including rather unnerving supervisions and an exam where you coach your examiners! I was deeply committed to  learning and, because you know how I feel about celebration, I promised myself this beautiful clock for a graduation gift. I loved it, and because it was beautiful and a bit of a financial stretch (particularly after tuition), I felt like I was investing in my next level of success. Perfect.

Except I didn’t buy it. Not the entire first year. Not the second. If I happened to go into the store, I’d visit the clock. But I’d always look at the price tag and put it right back down.  Why did I need it? I mean, seriously, should I really spend that much money on a clock?

But it niggled at me. It wasn’t the clock that was calling my name. It was the unfulfilled promise waiting for me to show up. I needed to show up for me. So I dug in and I bought that clock. It sits on my desk and keeps me company every single day, reminding me not only that I am a certified coach but even more powerfully that I can have faith in me.

Are there unfulfilled promises calling your name?

Tagged as: self-trust

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