We creative hearts talk all the time about shining our light. It’s important to us that we be ourselves, that we express fully and freely who we are. We talk about it so frequently that it’s become a bit easy to say, as though shining is as simple as walking into a room and flicking on the light.

In some ways, it is that easy. The light is already there, in you, right now. Like Rudolph’s nose, it’s more work to hide it than to let it blaze – hard, enervating, soul-dampening work. So why do we hide it?

Why is it so hard to shine?

Before you read any further, take some time to answer those questions yourself. Grab your journal and explore:

• When/where/why do I find it hard to shine?
• When/where/why do I hide my light?

The most important answer is the one that’s yours so give yourself some time to discover it. (If you’d like to share what you discovered, you can leave a comment or email me. I’d love to hear what gets in the way of your shine.)

Past Messages about Shining

One thing that may have come up in your reflection, it certainly comes up for me and many of my clients, is the messages, both direct and indirect, you’ve received about shining. Maybe you’ve been told (and continue to be told) that you are too much, that when you shine you are selfish or demanding or proud or egotistical. This is not only hurtful but also confusing to your soul because really you’re just beaming out your joy, your heart, your love and your self and it feels wonderful until you get that kickback, when you get the message that you need to reign it in, reign it in now and hard.

Most often we respond by not only dialing our light way, way down but also by feeling ashamed or guilty for even thinking about shining! That’s when we lean into another bit of familiar advice:

Stop worrying about what other people think! (Oh, if only it were that easy)

But, once again, that’s not as easy as it sounds, especially for highly sensitive people. Life is a dance of individuality and intimacy and deep inside we have the belief that we can have only one and not the other.

We feel the call of our deepest heart, the way it asks us to rise up and unfurl into the wondrous being we were born to be. We feel it like trees feel the call of the sun and sky. It is undeniable. Our hearts beat with it. In our dreams, waking and sleeping, we find ourselves running with it. In our cubicles, our wrong relationships, our empty nests, we cry for it. We know, we know without a shadow of a doubt, we were meant to shine.

And at the same time we know that for all we will gain, there will be things that we lose.

Everything in our life that is comfortable but not-quite-right will chafe. Everything. As we wake up to ourselves and our light, things we’ve tolerated will no longer be acceptable to us and we will no doubt find ways that we are no longer acceptable to others. The family, friends, community that we are connected to will notice that something’s changed. They will start to see something we have known all along, that we don’t quite fit – and that is terrifying.

There may be haters.

There may be snide remarks, gossip and attitude.

There may be tears and hurt feelings, some yours, some belonging to others.

There will be discomfort.

There will be loss.

We want to belong.

We want to be a part of a community, a tribe, a family. It hurts to be judged, rejected, abandoned, isolated and alone. It hurts in a primal, visceral, “what if I’m tossed out into the cold to die” way.

After all that it may come as a surprise that I am sharing all this to encourage you.

I’m saying it because I want you to know that shining your light is a magnificent feat, that being yourself is heroic. It’s deep and meaningful and true. It’s brave and beautiful and it’s okay to be afraid.

Heroes are human.

A part of this journey is learning to take exquisite care of you, to build your strength, to grow your heart, to bolster your courage and yes, sometimes, to tend your wounds.

More and more as you shine and the ill-fitting familiar falls away, your true light will guide you to a new, shinier life. More and more things will get easier as you shine brighter, as you become the full expression of your beautiful creative soul. You’ll know your own heart and mind. Your energy will be freer. Your responses will be truer.  You’ll find yourself saying yes to the things that feel right for your heart, for your soul, for your shine – and no to everything else.

Years ago, I changed my entire life. I left a beautiful apartment and a long-term love with no money, no job and nowhere to go. I left for the freedom of my own spirit. I left to live my own life and dance in my own light. For an entire year I was a live wire, a vortex of wild enthusiasm and delight. All the energy that I had held back for so long, poured into the creating of my new life, the life that led me here, to this studio, to my beloved husband and to my creative life. It took everything I had and it gave me more than I imagined.

I know that it isn’t always so very easy to shine but I also know you can do it.

I know that the braver and brighter you shine, the more you will light up the world exactly as you are.

Our personal art history has inevitably filled us with Art Rules,  some helpful, some not so much.

A rule that my siblings subconsciously developed was that each art could only belong to one of us. There could be only one dancer, one writer, one artist, one musician, one photographer. What the heck?! This isn’t Highlander! There can be more than one! All of us are multi-passionate creatives and need to explore and express ourselves through whichever art(s) call our names. My brother and sisters and I have talked about it and have consciously decided to let this particular “rule” go.

A lot of the Art Rules that we’ve made up or absorbed over time live in our unconscious. It takes a little nudging (from inside or outside) for them to reveal themselves. Once we become aware of them, we can choose whether to own them or release them.

I had an unconscious Art Rule rear its head in a mixed media class I was taking. The instructor told us to use tracing paper to create our figures.

My first reaction was “You can do that?”

My second reaction was, “You can’t do that!”

In my mind, using tracing paper was cheating. Where did I get that rule? Clearly that wasn’t a rule for the teacher. As a professional artist, she used tracing paper as a tool.

I decided to examine this rule and discovered the belief that fueled it was that if you trace a figure, you won’t learn to draw a figure.

Is that true?

Only one way to find out! I bought some tracing paper and started tracing figures. The first thing I noticed was that it was fun! I could spend hours tracing and that alone would be a gift to my creative practice. Secondly, I could literally feel the learning.I  experienced the curve of a shoulder. I felt the proportion of the body. Tracing bypassed my brain and let my body gain the experience and for a visual-art-fearful kinesthetic learner like me, that was perfect!

I am officially adopting the new rule that tracing paper is an art tool.

What Art Rules are you living by? Here are a few to look at. See if any (or all) of them are familiar.

Art Rules

• Real art takes time. (I got this one from my mom)
• Real art is totally original. It must spring fully formed exclusively from your own heart and mind.
• Each art form can only belong to one member of the family.
• You have to be born with talent.
• I can’t ______ (Fill in the blank e.g. dance, sing, write, draw, sew, bake…)
• Art is a hobby.
• You can’t make a living as an artist.
• You’re only a real artist if someone buys your work.
• If it’s been done, why bother?
• If someone else does it better, why bother?
• Creating art is a struggle.
• Creating art should be easy.
• To be great, you have to pursue one art exclusively.
• You need formal training.
• Formal training will ruin you.
• Art has to _______ in order to be taken seriously.
• It’s too late for me to pursue my art
• Artists have to suffer in order to be great.
• Artists are the “cool kids”.

Clearing the rules that aren’t supporting us creatively is powerful and important work – for ourselves and for the others we impact in our lives. We will pass along the rules that we are living, whether we know it or not. Let’s make sure that we pass on what we truly believe in.

Please share your art rules in the comments. Let us know which ones you believe in and which ones you are ready to break!

Today I am stepping into the great adventure of introducing 200 ten- to twelve-year-old girls to the fine art of journaling. Over the past week I’ve asked people to share with me what they wish someone had told them about the practice when they were that age. As the heartfelt stories poured in, certain themes emerged that are great for us grown-ups too.

Privacy

The number one message that came in loud and clear was the importance of keeping your journal safe, secure and private! Strategies included marking it with a clear privacy statement, hiding the journal, writing in code, covering up what you’ve written with paint or collage or destroying anything that you’re worried someone might read.

Having a space that you feel confident is just for you, where no one is looking, reading, watching, judging, is one of the core gifts of keeping a journal, a space where you can pour your heart out, the best of you, the worst of you, your joys, your worries, your angers, your triumphs, your history, your dreams, your imaginings and meanderings – everything in full raw honesty. For me, this is my morning pages. I stream out three pages of free-writing and in those words I encounter myself. I hear my own voice and see my own heart. It’s the encounter that matters. I toss the pages away.

Do you feel free in your journal? Do you self-censor? What about when you art journal? Does the world of shared art journal pages impact your process? Do you create with an eye to sharing on your blog or maybe one day being featured in a mag?

What role does privacy play in your journaling?

There’s No Way to Get This Wrong

Many people shared that they got stopped along the way by some idea of how journaling “should” be done. It should be written. It should be daily. It should capture what you’ve done each day. It should be positive. It should be meaningful. It should reflect the “true you.”

What if you tossed away all the shoulds and just created a space for your heart, your mind, your life – a space where anything goes – a space for you!

What If…

What if you could glue or write or paint or sew or gather or remember or list or imagine?

What if you wrote poetry, copied out song lyrics, pressed flowers and drew your cat?

What if you started on the last page and worked your way forward?

What if you coloured or washi-taped or hole-punched?

What if you made it a comic?

What if you wrote on Mondays or on your birthday or rainy days or whenever the heck you felt like it?

What if you wrote every day for 10 minutes?

What if you wrote one sentence or twenty or a hundred pages in one sitting?

What if you did it your way?

What if you did it to discover what your way is?

What if you were just you on the page, the you that you are today?

A Journal Is Just For You

Our journals are as individual as we are. Give yourself the gift of loosening your expectations and experimenting. As you discover more and more about your style, your preferences and what works for you, you will come to a very personal way of journaling and it will feel like home, a home of your own, a journal just for you.

When I decided to take last week off, a lot of people asked me questions like, “Hmm.. will you actually take the time off?” It was a question I asked myself too – before and during my vacation! I love my work, I have tons of projects (both on the go and in the wings) and I love to be doing. So what would I do with this whole “time off” thing?

The first day, I went to the One of a Kind Show and Sale here in Toronto. It was rich with beauty and inspiration! I even delved into asking exhibitors for creative tips that I could share with  you.  It was awesome but I admit it: I was working!

As I moved further into my holidays, I had kept one day with clients. I love working with my clients so I thought, well, that’s okay then.

The next day, I realized I actually had three (yes, three!) meetings booked.

Clearly, I wasn’t getting this whole concept of “time off”.

I rescheduled every meeting. I even cancelled going out with a friend because being scheduled didn’t feel like holidays.

I gave myself a gold star for commitment… and proceeded to get very, very restless.

I had an idea of what vacation was not – not work, not meetings, not schedules – but I wasn’t sure what it was. I didn’t want to spend a week floating in an empty void of “not work” and I didn’t want to reach for work out of habit.

So I asked myself the key question for this Type A to enjoy her time off…

What is this time off for?

For years I’ve been wanting to book off a week in April because I always find myself exhausted at this time. The studio is so busy at the beginning of the year and I’m depleted from the long, dark winter. This time off was for resting.

Entering a new season after a winter of busy-ness, I also found myself craving some quiet, reflective time. This time off was for hearing my own heart.

Once I set these intentions I was able to finally settle in and enjoy my vacation.  I didn’t have to follow any shoulds or preconceived ideas. I didn’t have to fill the void with habit or work. All I had to do was attend to my energy and my heart and that led me to a truly lovely week.

What This Type A Has Learned about Time Off

1. Set an Intention for your Time Off

With our busy lives, time off is a precious thing. Getting clear on what you want from that time – rejuvenation, fun, reflection, connection – can help you direct your natural enthusiasm into your vacation.

2. Time Off is Different for Everyone

We have a tendency to think that relaxation is the key to time off but really what fulfills you is highly personal. Maybe you want adventure or play dates with friends. Maybe you want breakfast in bed and a good book. Maybe you want to jet ski and play beach volleyball. Maybe you want to journal for hours in a coffee shop. Pay attention to your self, your needs and wants in this moment and focus your vacation on that.

3. Pay Attention to Energy Up – Energy Down

To figure out a focus, notice what brings your energy up and what sends it down. (This is good advice every day!) So many of us make our choices (even vacation choices) guided by “shoulds” instead of trusting our inner guidance system. Tune into your energy and let it guide the way.

A Caveat: Be aware that your habits may try and fool you! If the spaciousness of time off feels uncomfortable, you may find your energy up when you grab hold of work. Remember, that is available to you any time. In fact, you’ll be back to it on Monday. Allow yourself to find the energy opportunities in “vacation.”

4. Time Off Serves the Work

If your heart is deeply invested in the work you do, remind yourself that time away serves it well. It allows you to return with renewed energy and fresh perspectives. Taking time for your own renewal is a sustainability strategy, one that will allow you, your life and your work to thrive.

5. Give Yourself Over to It 100%

The most frazzling thing you can do is to try and be in two places at one time. If you are not really on vacation because you’re checking emails, finishing up tasks, taking a few meetings and you’re not really working because you’re away from your computer, your response time is slow and you’re trying to spend time with loved ones, you’re breaking yourself in two. You’re losing the benefits of both work and time off! Stop spreading yourself too thin, “like butter over too much bread.” (Thank you, Bilbo.) Give yourself the gift of being where you are. Bring all that energy home.

Bonus Lesson

After spending the week attending to my rest and listening to my heart, here’s what I realized. These aren’t things I can do once or twice a year when I finally take some time off. Being well-rested and tuned into my self are priorities for my every day. I just needed a vacation to remind me!

Stepping into this new season and a big new project (writing a book!), I find myself recommitting to the three core practices that support my creative life: journaling, movement and me time*. This triad keeps me well-tended and allows me to show up vibrantly and wholeheartedly.

Journaling

Over the years I’ve found that having a simple regular channel for self-expression is a life-changer. Your journal is a safe place to pour out your heart, gather your ideas and hear your own voice.

Journaling can take many forms but for me Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages – three pages of long-hand, free-form writing every morning – have been foundational. I have strayed from this format often but am returning to it this spring.

I am combining morning pages with evening “My Day on a Page” journaling. On one page I gather key memories, mundane moments, my mood, my preoccupations, my inspirations, ideas and even a drawing or two.

What kind of journaling does or would support your creative life?

Movement

Creative living is a whole body experience! A regular practice of moving your body keeps the energy flowing in all aspects of your lives. It enhances well-being and supports vitality while helping any moody bits or stuck energy flow through like a weather system.

It’s important to move in a way that is right and good and healthy for you. Moving doesn’t have to be a big fancy deal or a major workout. It might be going for a walk or dancing in your bedroom. It might be yoga class or simply stretching from fingertips to tippy toes when you wake up.

This season I plan on practicing yoga, walking a lot more and, of course, playing Just Dance 2015!

What way of moving does or would support your creative life?

Me Time

Having time to yourself is a balm for the creative soul. “Me time” can be anything that allows you to be 100% in your own experience so that you can feel yourself breathe, hear yourself think and sense your own reactions and impulses. It gives you a chance to unplug and bring your energy back to your very own heart.

The me-time practice that I will be returning to this spring is meditation. I started meditating over a year ago and have been amazed by its blessings. As a woman with a busy brain, it often feels like a deep sigh of relief when I sit for even 5 minutes and pay attention to my breath.

What form of “me-time” does or would support your creative life?

These are the practices I return to again and again, my creative living triad. May they support you in bringing your creativity to life!

*If you’ve been a member of the studio for a while, you probably remember I used to refer to this trio as Morning Pages, Movement and Meditation. I love the alliteration but I’ve found it helpful to open up the categories, allowing them to stay focused but more flexible. I hope you find that helpful too.

Celebration as a practice? Really?

Yes, really.

What savasana is to yoga, celebration is to creative living.

In taking the time to celebrate, we let all that we’ve done, all that we’ve learned, sink into our very cells.

Yet it’s a step we skip over so readily. Sometimes we’re like magpies, off to the next shiny thing, excited about starting the cycle of creation again. Sometimes we’re too busy, so loaded down with to-dos and commitments that we can’t imagine taking time for something as frivolous as celebration. And sometimes we hold the bar too high, thinking the only thing worth celebrating is the thing we haven’t yet achieved.

Why do you skip celebration?

Just for a moment, imagine your inner creative 10-year-old. She’s just danced for you or learned to knit or proudly presented a poem. “Okay, sweetie. Now, get onto the next project.” “Ah, sorry, honey, I’ve got this call to make. I’ll catch you next time.” “Um… pretty good but let’s talk when you’ve really got that nailed.”

Ouch!!

Celebration builds confidence.

Instead of shutting down your creative heart by stepping over celebration, bolster your confidence by acknowledging what you’ve done! Every time you take a moment to notice and celebrate the steps you’ve taken, the risks you’ve dared, the goals you’ve achieved, the work you’ve created, the effort you’ve put in, the skills you’ve learned, the experience you’ve gained, you lock it into your heart and own it.

Celebration honours the work.

When we celebrate, we say that this work was worth doing. It’s a sign of respecting not only the effort and energy that you’ve put in but also the value of the task itself. When you gloss over the time you spent working on your photos or crafting that poem or finessing that dinner, you miss the opportunity to send love and respect to the art forms of photography and poetry and cooking.

Not every celebration needs to be toasted with champagne.  It can be a quiet moment of reflection,  a wink at yourself in the mirror, the decision to wear red, an ice cream sundae with sprinkles, an unbridled disco dance, a day in your pj’s.  What feels like celebration to you?

Celebration honours the Universe.

Celebration is gratitude’s twin sister. It is a moment in time, a placing of your attention on the great good that is here and available in this world, that you are a part of and contributing to. When Mary Oliver asks us, “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” look at your art journal, the necklace you beaded, the home you’ve created, the journal you’ve kept, the business you’ve started, the laundry you’ve folded, the garden you’ve tended and say, “This. I have spent a bit of my wild  and precious life, on this.”

And that is worth celebrating.