In Mindful Mondays we show up at the beginning of every week with the intention of actively creating the week ahead. We make plans and we choose a guiding principle to keep us grounded. We celebrate our joys and achievements and we wrestle with the stuff that gets in the way.

A couple of weeks ago someone asked how I handle that moment when you simply need to get something done, something tough, something you really don’t want to face or do. You know that thing – that thing you put on your list week after week after week but just never manage to tackle. We all have those things.

Every project, every dream, every life is rich with things to do. Some of those things are wonderful (like the joy of packaging up the #first100 yearbooks) and some, well, some are tough. When facing those tough tasks I think of the season of Journal Club when Horse was our animal guide. We quickly discovered that Horse was often very direct. If you were facing something challenging, Horse was likely to nudge you in the back with a clear message: “Get to it.”

But how do you get to it?

Here are my 7 Top Tips for Getting the Tough Stuff Done

1. Do Every Little Thing

In almost any situation there are lots of little and easy things you can do before you tackle the big one. You can find the phone number. You can print the application. You can turn on the computer. Any little thing related to the main task counts.

Taking care of the relevant little things is not avoidance or procrastination. It is the on ramp. It gives you the opportunity to build momentum, gain confidence and it makes the tough thing itself a little lighter because before you know it so much of the task is already done.

2. Make It Easier

Everything you can possibly do to make the task easier, do it. Ask for help. Get a friend to drive. Book it first thing in the morning. Get extra sleep. Break it into baby steps. Do anything and everything you can to make this tough task easier.

3. Envision Yourself on the Other Side

You’ve done tough stuff before. You know from experience how much better you will feel when you’ve got this done. Imagine yourself there, sleeping better, feeling freer, crossing this helluva to-do off your list.

4. Get It Over With

You’ve done every little thing. You’ve made it as easy as it can be. There’s only one thing left to do and that’s to get it done. Make it fast. Get it over with. End the cycle of worry and avoidance. It undermines your confidence and keeps you suffering. Now is the time to listen to Horse. Do it.

5. Rest and Recover

You did some heavy lifting there. Maybe it wasn’t as hard as you expected. Maybe it was harder. One thing is for sure it took a lot of effort on your part. Breathe. Nap. Take some quiet time. Let your energy find equilibrium again.

6. Acknowledge/Celebrate

Give yourself some kudos. That was a big deal. And, by the way, it doesn’t have to look like a big deal to anyone else. Only you know what it took to get that thing done – and you did it. Gold star for you! Do a happy dance. Have a hot chocolate. Play a song you love and look at the stars. You did good. Celebrate!

7. Remember

Don’t just go on to the next thing on your list. Take a moment to notice how it feels to get the tough stuff done. Feel it in your body. Notice the energy that’s been freed. Remember this for next time, the way it feels on the other side of tough. And remember too (because you have given yourself direct proof of this fact) that you, Jamie are capable of hard things.

I try to start each day with some writing. Sometimes I pour my heart into my journal pages. Sometimes, with the clickety-clack of the keyboard, I get my ideas flowing out of my head and onto the screen.

Sometimes these words are wonderings about life, art, the universe.

Sometimes they are gatherings of memories, inspirations and to-dos.

Sometimes they are celebrations of moments, achievements and joy.

Sometimes (more often than I care to admit) they are grumblings about worries, challenges and discontent.

This morning, it was discontent: “Look at all the things I want to be doing that I’m not doing! Look at all the things I need to do that aren’t getting done!! Why does time move so fast?!! What am I doing with my time??!”

GRRRAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!

It would be so easy to close the document and walk away, so easy to grab some chocolate and put on Netflix instead. Honestly? I’ve done that plenty of times. It’s only human to want distraction or soothing when we’re feeling grumbley. But this time I did something different: I made lists. I let my discontent spur me on.

Lists of Desires & Discontent*

• Things I want to be doing more of – big and small
• Things I’m not doing that I know would be good for me, even if they are uncomfortable or hard at the outset
• Dreamy things (i.e. things that would be ​so awesome​ but seem ​out of reach)
• Things I could be doing less of to make room for the above

Seeing my discontent, my desires and my choices laid out so clearly was both illuminating and energizing! I literally found myself sitting up taller and taller as I wrote. That GRRRAAARRRGGGHHH energy was channeled into information – information that I could use to make changes. Which led to another uncomfortable moment…

I ​have to make changes? What? ​​

GRRRAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

The thing is, when we feel discontent, we are usually very clear that we want/need ​something ​to change but that’s very different from wanting to make changes ourselves. In fact, there are inevitably things on our list that seem or are unchangeable. There are things we have little or no control over. For those things, I recommend having a conversation with the Universe, “Hey, U, do you see all this? Can you give me a hand here? I would so appreciate it.” (You can talk more reverently to the Universe. This is the just the way we are chatting these days.)

Once you’ve done that, start doing what you ​can ​do. ​Pick something, anything. Pick the first thing, the easiest thing, the hardest thing, the smallest thing, a random thing. Pick any thing and make a start. Don’t fret about what you can’t do until you’ve done all you can. Remember, you’ve already enlisted the Universe’s help for that stuff and she doesn’t like it when you micro-manage, especially when you’ve already admitted you don’t know how to do the job! Focus on your own work. Make a change. You will be surprised how much becomes clearer along the way.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the choices I’ve made over the past several years and how they’ve impacted my life, (created my life, really.) I think about the things that have been within my control and the things that have been beyond it and I do this in an attempt to integrate all of that hard-won wisdom. I celebrate the choices that have brought me closer to myself and to the life I want to be living and I do my best to be honest and compassionate about the choices I have made that have moved me further away.

I am not one of those people who believe that our entire lives are our own creation, that we manifest everything by our inner thoughts, our words, our deeds. Instead I believe that each of us has a set of given circumstances, a palette that life gives us to work with, and that as creative beings, we can make wonders with what we’ve been given. The art form that has helped me understand this the most is theater, which I studied in university.

An actor starts creating a character by looking at the given circumstances provided by the play. What does the text tell us about who we are? Does our character description give our age, our circumstance, clues to our personality? Do the facts of the play show us where we live, who we have relationships with, what we do for a living? Do other characters talk to or about us and give clues about our identity? Are they a reliable source of information or are they misinformed or have their own agenda? An actor scrutinizes the text for these given circumstances and, generally, doesn’t argue with them. The circumstances form the skeleton on which everything else is built.

Once the given circumstances are discovered, it’s imagination’s turn. Choices bring the character and the play to life.

Yes, we enter the room on our cue, “Lizzie, dear, can you bring in the coffee?” but how do we enter? Are we rushed, calm, resistant? Are we leaning forward or dragging our heels? If we brought the coffee, are we sure-handed or is the carafe precariously balanced on our tray? Do we look at the other people as we enter? Do we smile? Do we frown?

An actor makes a million choices to bring a character to life within the given circumstances of a play.

We do the same within the given circumstances of our life, though generally less consciously. When we walk into the office, the kitchen, the bedroom, the party, the dry cleaners, the apartment, how do enter? Do we hurry? Do we hesitate? Are we lackadaisical? Suspicious? Friendly? Do we stand tall? Slouch? Lean back? As we
engage with our activities and others are we terse, effusive, loving, resentful, sarcastic, funny, aggressive, timid? How do our interactions with our given circumstances impact the story of our life?

The wonderful thing is that we have far more freedom than a character in a play.

Inevitably, Romeo and Juliet’s love will end in tragedy and Didi and Gogo will keep waiting for Godot. But our magic is greater; we have more creative license. We can change not only our reactions and responses to the given circumstances but even the story itself.

When we hear, “(Insert your name here), dear, can you bring in the coffee?” unlike Lizzie, we may bring in the coffee or not. We may substitute wine, coconut water or
raspberry soda. We might bring the coffee on a tray along with carrot cake and one exquisite fall dahlia in a vase. We can suggest going out for coffee or for dinner instead. We can even enter the room with a cartwheel and say “Get your own damn coffee” and walk out the door.

Maybe we are sick and tired of being asked to bring the coffee. We want something different for our lives. Maybe we want deeper conversations, more challenge and responsibility. Maybe we want coffee in Paris. Maybe we want brilliant conversations about books and life and politics. Maybe we want to quit coffee because the caffeine keeps us up at night. Maybe we want someone to bring us the damn coffee!

We can change things when we stop believing our entire story is a given.

Yes, we have given circumstances. We all do.

And, we have millions of choices available to us every day.

Choices that are ours, no one else’s.

Choices that can change our story – even if they don’t change all the details.

Make a list of the given circumstances of your life. Then think about the story you want to be living, the person you truly want to be and start making choices, one by one, day by day, to bring that story and that you to life.

You can do it.

Often in interviews people ask me what I wish I’d known when I started out, what I’d like to be sure that people on the same path know. My answer is always the same: “It’s going to take longer than you think and longer than you would like.”

I’m guessing you don’t like that answer any more than I did.

When I wasn’t sure of my career path, I wanted to figure it out pronto. When I wanted my coaching practice to replace my day job, I wanted it to happen now. When I was ready to heal my art wounds, I wanted to make one brave gesture and be done with it. When I became a creative entrepreneur, I wanted to launch one product and BAM be a wild success.

Not one of those things worked like that. Not one.

It wasn’t for lack of trying. I worked hard!! I thought that if I could do more, put in more effort, go faster, try harder, then I could get the momentum going. By sheer force of will I could make it happen. Now.

That didn’t work either. In fact, that only resulted in exhaustion and even more discouragement. 

Why wasn’t it happening?

With so much talk of ‘life purpose” and “flow” and “following the energy,” if things weren’t moving forward, maybe I was on the wrong path. Maybe I would never find my career, be a coach, heal my art wounds or become a successful entrepreneur. Maybe I was on the wrong path. Maybe I needed to start over, think harder, dig deeper, get advice, sign up for a programme. Whatever it would take to figure it out, I would do it.

But this wasn’t about me working harder. This wasn’t about me getting it right or getting it wrong. This wasn’t about me what was ‘meant to be’. This was about life.

Life takes time.

Power, beauty, wisdom, strength, confidence, skill, knowledge, experience – all of these things take time to develop and to unfold. We cannot hurry the stages of our growth anymore than an acorn can will itself into becoming a tree by next weekend. Even if it could, it would be a tree that hadn’t had the time to grow strong or deep or wise. It wouldn’t have dug its roots firmly into the earth so it could hold its own weight and stand tall and proud no matter the weather. It wouldn’t have layers and layers and layers earned through season after season after season. It simply wouldn’t have all that it needed to be a magnificent tree.

It seems so unfair. We’re not rushing for the sake of rushing. We’ve been waiting all of our lives. We’re not 16 or 26 or 36 any more. If we haven’t succeeded by now, will we? We’re in pain, we’re suffering and we need something to hold onto. We need to know that eventually we’ll get there.

We have no way of knowing where we’ll get to.

There are no maps that guarantee you’ll reach the destination you’ve set your sights on but that doesn’t mean the journey’s not worth taking – and it certainly doesn’t mean you should stay still. It also doesn’t mean that you should tear your hair out while deciphering map after map after map in an attempt  to plan the perfect route to guaranteed success. There’s no such thing.

Life is an adventure.

Sometimes we’re whooshing downhill on our bicycles, hands in the air, wind in our hair, amazed and maybe frightened by the speed! Sometimes we’re meandering a delicate meadow path, heavy with the day’s heat, pausing every now and again to watch butterflies. Sometimes we have our shoulder to the wheel, our feet are dug in deep, our thighs rippling as we push, push, push to move forward. Sometimes we’re knocking at the door, our gentle rapping becoming increasingly insistent as we tire of waiting for an answer.

Be where you are.

You are a great adventurer, {{ subscriber.first_name }}. You have come far and done well. Yes, there are more journeys – many, in fact. So, yes, get out your map. Yes, plot the journey, as best you can. Take one step and then another and another. Build your strength. Hone your skills. Taste the blessings of this landscape. And every day, celebrate how far you’ve come.

It’s busy in the studio! We are in production mode for the #first100 print copies of the Studio Yearbook. This is always a lively and chaotic time. The kitchen table is covered with lists and labels and envelopes and ephemera. It’s a collective effort, as my sisters, Shannon and Suzie, help with putting it all together. We have a tradition called “Ephemera Friday” where we fill Shannon’s handmade envelopes with treasures we’ve been collecting for the season, primarily images from books and magazines.

Ephemera is a wonderful addition to any journaling practice. Gluing in an image, a memento, some words or paper scraps can add a moment of visual interest, inspiration to draw on and a connection to the present. It doesn’t have to be precious, fancy or fussy – and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time.

• ​Cut out that pretty picture from a real estate flyer.
• Save a piece of the blue pattern on the inside of an envelope.
• Give gift wrap a new purpose.
• Glue in your movie ticket or bus transfer.
• Keep that golden metallic paper from your chocolate bar.
• Use that sticker from your piece of fruit!

If you discover you enjoy gathering and using this kind of ephemera in your journal practice (or in your art, for that matter), you can start to invest a little more time and energy:

• ​Cut out images from magazines.
• Go treasure-hunting for old books. (Check your library. We have a great used book store at the library in Toronto.)
• Check out yard sales or vintage shops for all sorts of paper materials – maps, music books, postcards.
• Look for free printables and collage sheets online.
• Purchase bundles of ephemera from online sellers.(It is particularly fun to get ephemera from different parts of the world!)

Create a ‘stash’ of interesting materials that you love and that you’ve enjoyed gathering – and then ​use them!​ Don’t let them gather dust as you keep gathering more and more and more. Add one or two or five to your journal every day. Create a card for a friend and send it. Start collaging or art journaling. Experiment with mixed media. Put a favourite in your wallet or daytimer to bring some joy whenever you open it. (I kept a badger in my wallet for years!) 

If your stash starts to get out of control (which can happen easily) have fun putting those papers in a glue book! A glue book (or I sometimes call it a picture book) is simply a book that you glue things into – whatever you like! It’s a fun and relaxing creative activity which leaves you with a visual journal that you can continue to enjoy. You can see one of mine here. With all the ephemera floating around our place, I’m thinking of starting a new one!

Gathering papers and images is something I’ve been doing just about my entire life.  When I was a teenager I kept things like concert tickets, restaurant matchbook covers and newspaper movie ads. For years I kept style inspiration journals, where I pulled together images of the colours, silhouettes and fashions I loved. For over 20 years I’ve created dreamboards full of inspiring images that help guide me on my journey. Now, I put at least one image into my Studio Yearbook every day.

The most important part of each of these processes has been the way that the gathering, curating and creating has helped me know myself and my preferences more and more and more. Whether I was a teenager finding my way, a woman finding my style or an entrepreneur finding my brand, engaging with the visual ephemera of everyday life has been both a delight and a guide.

Amazing what little snippets of paper can do!